5 Star GP Opening Night 7/23/23

It did its job. A fun match with everyone on every team getting to do their signature moves before getting rolled up and the next team coming in. These opening gauntlet matches are just to show off all their wrestlers on free tv/Youtube, get everyone a payday for the PPV even if they don’t make the main card. And it serves as a buy-in before the PPV. Thekla stood out, as did Mai Sakurai. Mei wins with a dropkick to Hanako. Fun match, Flat finish.

Hanan hits Maika with a dropkick before the bell and is on her like a Young Lioness full of piss and vinegar. She hit her with all kinds of stuff including the best famouser you’ll ever see. But in the end, Maika puts her down with a Maikanoku driver and pats her on the ass like “Maybe next year kid”. Fucking Cool.

Mariah May vs AZM…gross. Mariah got new gear and looks like a superstar. She took it to another fucking level in this match. Mariah made Azm look like a little brat like she said she would. Every time Azm did anything Mariah cut her off with her LOOOOONG Legs. The match ended when Mariah BURIED Azm with a Tombstone Piledriver. And as she left down the main ramp for winners she said ‘I’M THE FOREIGN FUCKING ACE”! as the people I watched it with live complained about her being Rossy’s “New White girl”. Haters gonna hate. And ACE’S gonna ACE. Fuck yeah Mariah.

Tora started the match with her usual bullshit. Throwing Ami into chairs. It was about what I expected. A bad match from Natsuko, Magical Ami couldn’t carry her ass through a good match. Natsuko is the best manager in wrestling. Unfortunately, she still wrestles.

Starlight Kid HAIR AND EARS REVEAL. Brock Poi. They kicked each other’s ass. Starlight Kid loses another big singles match.

Utami came out in the old gear she wore when she won the Five Star. It’s already over before the bell rang. I’ll come back to finish this review after the match. I got Utami to watch. Poor Mina. Never had a chance. My heart didn’t skip a beat when Utami got pinned. Shut up! I never doubted Utami.        

I expected the battle of the Mid. Two completely average wrestlers with nothing going for them. And they turned it into a nice little match. The ending got me. Slightly above Mid

Syuri took a really bad suplex off the apron to the floor and nobody caught her. Other than that, I really only paid attention when Syuri was kicking the shit out of Suzu. I really don’t understand the Suzu hype. She’s not very good and does moves all the indie wrestling marks pop for. Hopefully, she’ll learn how to wrestle more professionally and drop the indie style she’s used to. It was a Syuri match and those can never be bad. So, it was about what I expected, I guess.

I was really close to a 4 or 5-star. Maybe with a little more time in a match that’s not a 15-minute tournament format, they would have had an all-time classic. But they definitely blew the roof off of the place. I can go on and on and gush on about Mayu and I WILL! Everything she does just oozes charisma. She gets the crowd fired up or silenced with just a glance. She has a connection with the fans a way I don’t think I’ve ever seen before. Hazuki was savage and hit Mayu with really stiff kicks, Crazy dives, beautiful suplexes, and barrages of elbows to the back of the head where I thought the ref might call it off because Mayu wasn’t defending herself. Hazuki is pretty cool. But despite all Hazuki’s efforts what hurt Mayu the most was her crash and burning on multiple moonsaults. When Mayu would cry out in pain I was genuinely concerned. They may be the main event but they definitely stole the show. And there are still two matches left on the card.

The parts of this match where Giulia led were typical Giulia PPV Bullshit. Piledrivers through tables, Suplexes off the stage into the crowd, launching each other through 18 rows of chairs, Brutal bumps onto the thin mats on the concrete where you hear sickening thuds. At some point, Saori gets the side of her head split open and probably needs staples. When the match eventually gets back to the ring and Saori takes control it turns back into something that resembles a wrestling match. The actual wrestling was fun. I get Giulia wants to do something different and give fans a good show. But the stuff she does in these PPV matches makes me just makes me cringe. It’s unnecessarily dangerous and I don’t like it.         

Only the 2nd show I’ve written a review for and already an injury. It sucks it had to happen in a PPV Main Event with everybody watching and it sucks it happened at all. Especially to someone I love so much. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to even rate this match but the show must go on as they say. Like the last match but in reverse. It started as a good match but then they felt the need to go outside and do nonsense. Tam found her way up to the titan Tron and dove onto Saya from like 10 feet up. They fought back toward the ring.  Saya climbed the light rigging and tried to one-up her by diving from at least double Tam’s dive. And unfortunately, Saya got hurt on the landing and Tam won by doctor’s stoppage. Not to beat anybody up for their choices but like I said. These dangerous dives and the stuff from the last match are unneeded. Keep it in the ring I beg you. Anyways, Get well soon Birb. We love you and we hope to see you Rise like the Phoenix!

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